I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
