he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Randomize
