My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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