I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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