My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Randomize
