the condom got lost in my hair
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
