think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
