That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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