U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
