didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
