4 words: hood of his car
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
