I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
