No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
