Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
is it fun? or sober?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
