You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I won't apologize to a one balled man
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
