the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
