Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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