shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
