just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
