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you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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