We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
