Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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