I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
