Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize