Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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