Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
