Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
