All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
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