hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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