at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
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