are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize