Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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