ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
