My hand turned me down
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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