that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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