PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
