doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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