yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize