bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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