escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
