Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
