Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
