this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
