Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
