Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
