people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
