I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
