just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
