No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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