You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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