Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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