what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Randomize
