Whod you bang
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
