I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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