I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
