Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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