I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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