I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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