she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
