great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
