You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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