I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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