I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
