would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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