im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
