i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
