I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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