My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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