This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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