they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
